Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Time for another Chemical Cocktail......
I am doing something I vowed for the past 20 years I would never do, take any form of chemotherapy. For maybe the first two weeks after my diagnosis I was pretty much convinced that I would not allow anyone come close to me with chemo.....and now I am ready for round two.
Although the depression I suffered following my divorce 7 years ago had greatly improved ever since I began laughing, it still had a way of taking control, so initially the thought of cancer sounded like an easy way out for me. At the time, I really didn't care whether I lived or died - I just wanted all of "this" to be over, but that would have been way too easy.
Suddenly life had handed me a major challenge and it didn't take me long to realize, despite my former feelings about chemo, that I needed to put my full faith and trust into the medical profession. What I also realized is that I did want to live....and not just live, but live better than I had in a very long time.
So, here I am outside of San Francisco surrounded by everything I need to realize that. This is not the end by any means, but the beginning of a very new and wonderful life.
I still am not convinced that chemo is the only way to go, but at this time, I can't argue with research statistics - Chemo #2, here I come!