Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Today was the day....
Sorry to report the power of wheatgrass juice was unable to save me from the hair loss...and I was so hoping it would. As I was combing my wet hair after my shower this morning, I noticed a massive amount of hair in my comb, so I carefully diffused it dry and let the curls takeover. Several times I put my hand to my head and pulled out a fistful of hair - it wasn't my imagination, it was the real thing. My hair was truly going.
I think the most difficult thing for me throughout this entire process so far has been wrapping my mind around the idea that there is actually something wrong with me - me, who according to my ex, is as "healthy as a horse". I can't remember my last fever or the last time I vomited. I was never sick for a minute during my pregnancies....I'm the person who takes care of everyone else. This is not a role I am comfortable playing, but one I am trying to graciously adapt to; however, when my cousin tried to feed me ice during my adriamycin today, I let out a big, "No way!"
It's bedtime here in California and it's been a big day. Chemo took more like three hours, rather than one and a half, because my IV infiltrated. I volunteered myself and my cousin to cater her daughter's Halloween party Friday night, so there was shopping to do after chemo.
And then we decided in addition to our two hours of personal training every week, we should sign up for the roll and stretch class every Wednesday evening which means every other Wednesday it will follow chemo. I was concerned I might not feel well, but other than my chemo headache, some sweats and a little shaking, all went well. The rolling and stretching took my mind off imagining other possible symptoms, but I gotta say, especially to those who know Laughter Yoga, I would much rather laugh through the painful rolls, rather than just breathe. Which gave me a good idea...I want to include a similar class when I open my cancer retreat in Bloomfield Hills called, "Rolling with Laughter!"
If I remember correctly, it was in "The Secret" I read, in order to truly believe and think positively, one's affirmation must contain no negatives of any kind. Thinking to myself, "I hope I won't be sick tonight", won't cut it. "I will be well tonight", will.....and I will be!
Good Night Hugs and Kisses to All!